A link to my OTHER Blog...

https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=3000539943771555442#allposts/postNum=8

LABELS Aren't Doing Much Good...

Labels, in their robotic and dehumanising rigidity, are not a great idea.


Let's just look at the Labels of GAY & STRAIGHT, with the recent history of GAY being a very popular insult. This couldn't possibly be a fun or useful label to become affixed upon an entire oppressed culture. Yet our well-intentioned society is a Neurotic Micromanager, with the slots, the labels, the Gender roles, Ethnicities, Sexual Orientations, The Mores, The Sexist, Racist, Fat-and-Slut shaming Media, The Fear of Nipples, The Youth & Dollar Worshipping, etc... - anything that our richly diverse tapestry of physiology, neurology and biology can be boxed-in By, WILL be boxed-in by.

Diversity is Natural - it's (scientifically and historically) GOOD for evolution, for art, for health,for innovation, for human interest, yet our completely DIVERSE society is so afraid of falling apart without its comfortable stagnation that it often uses our very own Natures as a way of making anyone with a spark of difference feel somehow wrong for simply existing.

Who other people feel an attraction towards, or whether or not their genitals are matched sets, who they fall in love with, or who they want to marry, etc... THESE are things that are conversational - NOT something to be labelled and imprisoned by, to be stigmatised by the most ignorant and fearful in our society, to be made inexplicably illegal within various "Free" nations that claim to have a separation of Religion and State.

WHEN people are ALL genuinely empathic we will then know that we finally live in an ideal world.  XOXOXOXOXOXO


 

FM Rewind: Alone Again, Naturally

FM Rewind: Alone Again, Naturally
Tony Baksa, of THE KITCHEN SINK blog, has another  excellent musical blog, & i LOVE IT!!

Overview:
★Socially Conforming & Cliché "tru-isms": the desire by the populace to feel
   somehow entitled to enforce & control Other Humans in general (the media/
   celebrities to reflect their own values despite that the thing/behaviour that
   which they wish to control is subjectively 'offensive' (to them) & is ultimately
   pretty harmless otherwise.

Priorities and Mindedness: Sex, Drugs, & Role Models

My thoughts re: Miley Cyrus' Two new songs - One's kinda sexy (gasp!)
& the other (We Can't Stop) references Molly (MDMA).
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3634422/

Miley was, of course, questioned by the incredibly NOSY media. Her response, In My Honest Opinion, was intelligent and refreshing.

I rather agree with her opinion on how messed-up the world is due to fear. There's a predominantly archaic, outdated, puritanical, & dirty view re: love, human sexuality, desire (especially feminine desire). Socially, sex is deemed to be - ironically enough - a terrifying threat to humanity (v. the somehow less socially threatening glorification of violence, wars, guns, etc..., seemingly considered so banal by an oversaturated western society that violent media & actions are peppered throughout many places where sexuality would be considered to be exceptionally inappropriate.).

I was never a huge Miley fan - if at all - & neither were my kids, really. I'd tried to encourage an appreciation for particularly & exceptionally creative music as an acceptable alternative to the massively-appealing-&-frequently-cookie-cutter-esque Corporate/Monied/Disney (or whoever) Machine - the over-produced & heavily distributed (hence "favoured) "superstar-making" melodious opioids.

Miley's showing, however, that she's quite a bit more than a soon-to-collapse former child star. She made a lot of sense - a likely testament to good parenting & innate intelligence/maturity. I have such hopes for this newest generation of burgeoning adults despite a flawed western education system & rampant social injustices (though my beloved science & anthropology are indicating in tandem that society's overall woes are steadily & measurably lessening with each new generation!).

As for the horrified parent and media response re: referencing drugs... Drugs do exist. Listening to a song that references drugs with your child can be an organic way of discussing drugs, addictions, pharmaceuticals, medicinal marijuana, etc, with him/her. It's a great way to tackle sociological realities:
   •many people experience no inclination to use drugs
   •many people were so inclined & have used previously - or still partake - but
    just aren't neurologically predisposed to developing an addiction
   •some people have TERRIBLE, insatiable, & potentially-lethal addictions
   •science asserts that addiction is a disease which is likely fueled by a
    complex amalgam of ingredients:
       °physiology, sociology, economy, anthropology, experientially
        circumstantial history, & psychology.

If someone fears that their child is SO incredibly malleable/weak that a Miley song will send them tumbling into an abyss fraught with back alley 'handies' for contaminated crank, then their child needs parents who'll make a better & more enthusiastic crack at what'd been passing for parenting 'til then.

"Oh, but Miley Cyrus is a Role Model!" (AKA, "How dare she exist
without thinking of my {anonymous} child first?").

That's shite.

The entertainment world - agents, producers, studios, captains of frivolous/fun industry - have their OWN agenda (primarily a desire for the acquisition & accumulation of vast wealth. Those affiliated with such an industry will therefore often behave as short-sighted little greedy money monsters:

   •Scout, Sign, & Push the Far Too Young 'til they're Far Too Rich (still young!)
   •ensure that they'll keep you in high esteem (& thus generous) by offering
    Far Too Little Supervision.
   •The Far Too Rich will lose their sense of self whilst likely gaining a sense
    of entitlement;
   •they'll feel lonely as so few others can truly relate;
    they'll fear that they've ceased to exist as an actual human because
    the media and the public have laid claims upon them as an object,
    a Brand, a nostalgic symbol of their own lives
   •they'll grow up in the public eye, scrutinized by much of the planet through
    the paparazzi's subjective & edit-able lens (& as is common, that lens 
    isn't gonna pay for itself)
   •they'll be traveling, frequently far from true friends & loving family for
    excessive lengths of time & will often find comfort amongst the
    be adulating yes-men & fair-weather-ers who surround them as they
    perform mental backflips to forget that their own posse's rather more
    vampiric than genuinely friendly. These vampires ply them with
    compliments rather than guidance in order to maintain their esteemed
    place on the inside, & their ability to introduce & acquire drugs (purity
    of substance be damned) in order to placate a sad/lonely celeb is
    unrivaled. 
   
THEN (many) parents - influenced by the social clichés which fall stupidly and cyclically from the lips of many a misguided/vapid media darling, no doubt - expect these Far Too Rich (& still very young!) to be role models for their own children? The same children that are so precious that they're not even allowed to be babysat by your best friend from childhood because she's made too many poor fiancé choices?

This world adores its entertainers, but it also waits, watches, bides...

When a beloved rising star patronises a corner shop that sells marijuana-leaf keychains, don a fantastically weird hat, or repeats an inspirational quote without realising it was 1st coined by Pol Pot, they're shoved brutally from the pedestal by the same mobs that placed them there involuntarily to begin with.

You know who's an ideal a role model for kids? Their parent(s).

Quit letting the (often) terrible, recycled & unoriginal, formulaic, canned-laughter-drenched, racist, sexist, size-ist, & violent programming drivel serve as the very foundation for your child's world view. 

It's up to you, educators, books, nature, genuine friends, etc... to influence & shape your child. Not Justin Beiber, Amanda Bynes, Nicki Minaj, Britney Spears, or Miley Cyrus. 

Amber Amber at 12:50

*I wrote this in order to deal with my sadness over the state of our tumultuous world. This is its FIRST POSTING, & If even One person shares, it has begun...

No one on Earth genuinely LIKES to be hurt, & Definitely not murdered...

SOOOO - Let's all NOT hurt others, let's be NICE;

Let's vow to Swallow our Pride & admit when we're wrong;

Let's NOT judge others on their appearance/gender/orientation/faith/colour/origin/size/age/abilities/income/clothing;

Let's be Charitable cos it's the RIGHT thing to do - Everyone needs help Sometime!;

Let's Smile more cos it feels nice for ourselves & others;

Let's apologise when we're wrong, & hug people when they're sad;

Let's listen, for Real, to others, rather than waiting our turn for rebuttal;

Let's not insist that hitting our kids  is fine ONLY BECAUSE we're ASHAMED that we hit our own kids - instead, think about why it's probably NOT good to hit ANYONE - violence begets violence;

Let's ALL admit that we are, none of us, perfect, & stop being embarrassed about errors - everyone errs, & that's life & learning. Being self-righteous as a defense mechanism causes many arguments;

Let's, *IF* we [REPORTEDLY] see someone"untoward(a.k.a.-different)" in our own neighbourhoods - let's approach them in a spirit of Genuine Peace, Kindness, & Helpfulness, & that's *IF* we feel compelled to approach ANYONE who's minding their own biz, at ALL, that Is;

Let's act in the ways we were taught (in order to coexist harmoniously) in kindergarten!
Sharing, neighbourly concern, enjoying learning, freely singing, creating, expressing ourselves, running about, not fearing to love our friends...;

Seems SOOOOO simple. Why CAN'T it be done? - for Florida, Canada, The World? For REAL? MAYBE IT CAN!

John & Yoko posted billboards all over during the Vietnam War, simply stating "WAR IS OVER... if you want it".

This is True in its simplicity.

Remember that old - I dunno, hymn, song? -  "Let there be Peace on Earth, & let it begin with ME..." ?

IF you are fed up with the pain, anger, sadness, arguments, partisanship, etc... LET'S ALL of us, EACH ONE, VOW to give PEACE a Chance by being the first to make a start...

Let's honour our fallen by making their deaths NOT entirely in vain, & thereby vowing  to change the world for the BETTER. Let's not just quote them, but really try to BE like MLK Jr., Desmond Tutu, Ghandi, etc...

Let it begin with ME!

A. Archer.

TO THIS DAY (A Gift OfTorment), Or Why The Word SLUT Makes Me Wig Out...

I watched the video about bullying entitled To This Day. It made me cry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY&sns=em

I have just completed a lengthy therapy process called EMDR. I did it because I have PTSD from bullying. The therapy, shockingly and happily, improved my quality of life by about 65%, but of course the memories still linger on the perimeters, shadowy threats, ethereal, but just tangible enough to make me nauseous and achy with a surprise external trigger, of which there are many.  They pop out of nowhere.

I was tormented for my appearance (seemingly) in grade 9. I was 13, very naive, bookish, nerdy, painfully shy, and socially awkward. I was, at that time, a devout Catholic, and had even thought about becoming a nun. I said my Rosary daily, I'd only learned about the Santa, The Easter Bunny & the Birds-&-Bees 8 months prior, and I was terribly excited to begin high school. I was (and am still) tall, & at that point I could have easily passed for 18. I was also aesthetically lovely, & told so frequently (as if I'd done anything in utero to influence my facial symmetry).

The first week was scary and exciting! I loved my classes, my teachers, my locker, and even my uniform. I received excessive & unexpected social attentions from males and females alike, and since my Catholic, primarily immigrant-Italian elementary school had responded to my English surname (a gift from a half-Italian/half-English dad, and a full-Italian mum, straight from the old country) with disdain and shunning, I was a little overwhelmed...

By the following week I was labelled a Whore, a Slut, a Tramp, & the rumours flew. I'd SUPPOSEDLY found time to sleep with every football team in the region, steal away numerous boyfriends, and work as a prostitute.

I was Beaten, shoved, groped, chanted at, & a group of maybe 40 - 60 girls waited outside as one of them attempted 2 drag me outside to stab me, shave my head (kill me?)...

The defacing of my locker was gruesome, and the janitor grew very annoyed with me because of my attracting such vile graffiti for him to clean (he stopped scrubbing by October).

I complained about the groping, at least, to the vilest administrator alive - SISTER BARBARA - and was assured that she knew these boys' families and they were all GOOD BOYS. I should take another route to class (yes, Even if it made me late for class), or to, better yet, curb my extracurricular "behaviours", as everyone knows that where there's smoke, there's fire, and she felt I was smoking up the school with my (purported) laciviousness...

My family home was invaded through the violating use of daily and nightly obscene and threatening phone calls, the ring causing my blood to freeze, my stomach to knot. I became jumpy and terrified. I never felt safe anymore. I lost interest in everything I'd once loved. I began to hate myself.

My attempt to run for student council had me up for two straight nights designing painstaking and gorgeous flyposts. I went in early to hang them, and by noon they were graphically and pervertedly defaced.

My parents lost some business in their hair salon (located in the front of our home) as some of the clients were also parents.  My mum spent that nightmarish 5 & 1/2 months in fear of the phone ringing during the day. "Amber's been in a fight/scuffle/detention all day," was common, and could have easily been replaced by "Amber's in hospital/been killed,".

My little brother got in fights cos of my "rep", 2 girls tried to push me down Steep cement stairs, older male students exposed' themselves to Me, & older male & female students yelled filthy things at Me, phrases I had never heard but soon became all to familiar with; their vile and taunting cries, their hurtful and hate-filled name calling - in the halls, on the school bus - I was kicked off the bus because the driver couldn't get them to stop it. My
mother had to pick me up directly from the door because there was always some gaggle of girls trying to trick me or lure me outside for a beating.

My grades slipped, I started binge eating, & then vomiting, and though it's Now commonly known of, I believed I had discovered a new technique to assuage my pain - cutting my arms. First with a disassembled Bic Shaver, and later with a mid-sized, sharpened safety pin, knowing that it's assuring presence in my hand meant an endorphin rush and a release from my everlasting present horror...

I sort-of dated one boy (more for a bodyguard than anything else) who broke up with me publicly the day after I ate dinner at his house (2 days into our dating) because his sister told his mother about me. He said he'd only wanted sex anyhow.

I got a horrible & 100% UN-deserved reputation as a "slut", I hid out in fields during classes (by the end of the first-&-only semester at that school, After which I changed schools entirely, I'd missed 84 individual classes), eventually taking my final exams separately (escorted there and back by my beloved Mother, my Rock through all this), nearly flunking them all.

Upon switching schools & realising the reputation had followed me there too, I was forced to fight big groups of girls that I didn't even know but who surely seemed to know and despise me... I still have a scar on my eyebrow. Thank goodness my father, early on in this "situation", had taught me how to Box, and equipped me with some knowledge on making homemade weapons-Just In Case. Mind you, I'd been a pacifist 'til then, but when your actual Life is Endangered, turning the other cheek can prove to be impossible.

THESE TYPES of insecure, bullying, hate-filled, lost, & bitter souls who inspired the creating of the video TO THIS DAY, who inspired me to write THIS - the angry, red-faced rabble of tormenting mobsters, STILL ready to hurt me every time I go to sleep -They Had / Have yet to develop Empathy, & the ability to truly enjoy life, people, & the true beauty in the world (the sort that time CANNOT erase because it's an integral part of one' s psyche).

I forgive them all, as they knew nothing of the pain they were causing me & my loved ones. They were all kids themselves, aged 14-19, and though I was a bit younger, It turned out I was also stronger because I SURVIVED. I can Never be without the gift of empathy they gave me through the months of bullying. I can never sit idly by whilst a brother or sister is in pain.

For this gift I am eternally grateful...

Tony Baksa and his excellent blog.

allthisplus.blogspot.com/